It is St. Patrick’s Day and here in Stepford almost everybody is dressed in lurid green and wearing a “Kiss me, I’m Irish” T-Shirt.
This is one of the many puzzling conundrums about America for me. I have yet to meet anyone who actually hails from the Emerald Isle here, and yet they are all ‘Irish’ (at least today) and I’ve lost count of the people who joyously tell Husband that they, too are German in a broad, Midwestern accent. Well actually my 3rd cousin was and I don’t speak the language, but still, I love sauerkraut, so I’m German, right?
It’s a strange sort of custom to claim one’s ancestral heritage as one’s national identity, no matter how vague or distant and it can make for some pretty odd combinations, I can tell you. (By that rationale, I am African, Irish, English, Lithuanian, Russian, and also proudly Jamaican. I can’t wait to collect all my passports!)
I may have mentioned last week that part of Kindergarten’s incredibly rigorous academic program was to devise and prepare a leprechaun trap which they all did with great enthusiasm. They were told to use the colour green, rainbows, glittery gold and that leprechauns were naughty and disobeyed signs. Ours took literally days and tonnes of glitter glue to prepare and my suggestion of bringing a bottle of Guinness with a tiny stepladder to school was given the withering look it probably deserved.
This morning as the children arrived there was much excitement when it became clear that the classroom been vandalised in the wee hours by a rogue gang of green-footed marauders. It turns out that sticky tape, construction paper and cardboard boxes are no match for the cunning wiles of the little people- the traps had failed but they did kindly leave a chocolate coin for each boy and girl even as they turned chairs upside down, sprinkled glitter all over the floor and caused general mayhem.
Five was slightly put out that her excellent trap had not caught a leprechaun but she was mollified slightly by the sweet. However one of the other girls was in floods of tears – positively howling with rage and disappointment.
I asked her why it she was so upset and it emerged that Katie had done some serious forward planning which was now ruined by the failure of the trap.
She’d planned to catch the leprechaun and put him on a leash around his neck – she had already picked one out at the pet store (green, naturally)
I pointed out that it was not very nice to keep a little person on a lead.
What if he didn’t want to be on a leash? What if he had a family?
She turned to me and said with utter scorn and derision
“They’re all men so they don’t have families. And if they don’t have a family they deserve to be on a leash!”
I’m really, really curious about Katie’s dad now.
{ 15 comments }
AND her mum….
I had no idea St Patrick’s Day was such a big deal here until I saw Calif Lorna’s post. I think we were the only people in town not in green today…luckily the boys didn’t have preschool so we got away with it.
.-= nappyvalleygirl´s last blog ..Blue Ridge (The Gallery #3) =-.
“my suggestion of bringing a bottle of Guinness with a tiny stepladder to school”
— rolling on the floor laughing. perfect!
x
.-= Miss Whistle´s last blog ..The days before the vernal equinox =-.
Oh I can see Five now, finding her pad of calculations and frustratingly re-studying. She’s truly brilliant and I adore her.
I’m of Irish descent, with an Irish last name, green eyes and dark hair. But I don’t own an Irish passport and have NEVER celebrated St Patrick’s Day. xx
.-= So Lovely´s last blog ..I’ll Be Back =-.
It is a very American thing to a) identify yourself by whatever ethnicity there is in the family tree and b) celebrate St Patricks Day with wild abandon. I live in the Boston area which has a huge Irish population (both “my grandparent’s grandparents came from Ireland but I am also Polish/African/French/Japanese and also the “hey, I was born and raised in Ireland” variety). In all the grocery stores here, including Trader Joes and Whole Foods, there was a special area to buy your Corned Beef and Cabbage fixings.
It is also my husband’s birthday – he is of German descent (and likes saurkraut :-)) but hated having everything shamrock growing up for his brithday parties so instead we went to a Japanese Steakhouse for dinner.
Also, LOVE the Guinness and tiny stepladder idea…
.-= Meredith´s last blog ..What Funeral Home Do You Plan to Use =-.
Katie – wow! Yes, I’d want to know more about her parents too!
.-= Almost American´s last blog ..The wearing of the green =-.
Never got the whole thing of deciding your nationality on the basis of one long forgotten great great grandmothers cousin twice removed. But it is a shame you weren’t allowed to send on the Guinness to FIVE’s class. x
.-= Brit In Bosnia´s last blog ..The Gallery: White =-.
Lord, I am hooting with laughter – that’s completely, completely brilliant. xxx
.-= Mrs Trefusis´s last blog ..WIGS ON THE GREEN =-.
It seems as though any Holidays will be celebrated as long as alcohol can be added. We’re known in the UK as a nation of binge drinkers, but Americans certainly make up for that on St Patrick’s Day and 4th July, oh and Cinco de Mayo and Superbowl Sunday and …
.-= Lorna Harris´s last blog ..Being British at South By South West (SXSW) =-.
Hysterical! Maybe five could invite Katie on a play date?! Maybe Katie’s Daddy isn’t a Man, he’s a Daddy – I hope so…..for Katie – and Katie’s future boyfriends!!!
.-= veryanniemary´s last blog ..Law of Nature =-.
Little people on a leash? You see lots of them where I live. It’s the accessory du jour in the parent-children relationship in London.
.-= Metropolitan Mum´s last blog ..Beauty on a budget: London’s best facials =-.
Yeah, men don’t HAVE families, didn’t you KNOW?! BTW, just try saying “beer can” without sounding Jamaican. LOVED the Guiness thing too. Ace xxx
.-= Cassandra´s last blog ..I’m gonna live forever =-.
hihihihihihihihi made my morning, dear MTFF! i would LOVE to know about her father, too. your writing is so witty and humorous. speaking of identities- i know what you mean- it was Nowruz on Sat, and as much as I like the traditions which surround it, I didnt celebrate it, i felt i was a fake persian, a wannabe. my grandmother’s fam came to Pakistani from Iran, but we never celebrated nowruz except to wish each other. i was wondering if i should change that tradition…but then wannabe started ringing in my head…
a lovely post, i wish you had taken that bottle of Guniness. how boring they truly must be. x shayma
.-= shayma´s last blog ..La Vita è Bella: Dal (Lentils) in the Pakistani / Afghan Manner =-.
Wow, what an interesting child!
We don’t seem to have been hit so hard with the st paddy’s nonsense here in SF, preschool was only slightly green. Maybe I have it to come!
I always find these American claims to Irish heritage so odd. My mum’s dad was in fact Irish (her maiden name was Doherty), but this was not a big deal growing up, though I guess we inherited our Catholicism (I’m long lapsed) from him.
.-= geekymummy´s last blog ..The dress that said "Me" =-.
My daughter produced a pot of sparkly multicoloured sand (left over from a craft project). I didn’t quite understand why that was a trap. She said it was because the leprechaun would think it was so beautiful, he would get in to have a look, and then she could put the lid on.
As it was 8.50am and we had to be at school at 9.00, and I’d forgotten all about the homework over the week-end (Bad Mummy), I went with it as an idea. She didn’t catch a leprechaun, but neither did anyone else.
.-= Iota´s last blog ..Easter Interlude =-.
Hi there MTFF – I write this as I do most things – late and no longer relevant. I was very interested in your post on St Patricks’s Day. Belgravia Son Number One was born on March 17th and we have historically ( for no particularly good reason ) told him it is a super day – lucky, a touch of oirish magic, go on a total bender in Dublin for his 18th and so on. He is superficially aware of the existence of leprechauns but chez nous they are sort of playful little pixies – not mini green demons. Leprechaun trap – that’s a new one, did you catch any ?
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