Application Letter And Their Parts Parts Of Application Letter And Its Definition Application Letter With Complete Parts Different Parts Application Letter Parts Of An Application Letter For Employment Parts Of Application Letter And Its Meaning Application Letter And Its Parts Application Letter Philippines Simple Application Letter Philippines Application Letter For Accountant Philippines Application Letter For Nurses Philippines Application Letter Philippines Government Application Letter For Nurses In Philippines Application Letter For Teacher In Philippines Application Letter In Philippines Application Letter For Staff Nurse Philippines Ojt Application Letter Philippines Application Letter For Government Position Philippines Application Letter For Teacher Philippines Application Letter In The Philippines Government Application Letter University Of The Philippines Application Letter Phd Application Letter Phd Scholarship Applying Letter Phd Admission Letter Phd Request Letter Phd Application Letter For Phd Application Letter For Phd Scholarship Application Letter For A Phd Position Application Letter For A Phd Scholarship Application Letter For Phd Admission Application Letter For Applying Phd Best Phd Application Letter Application Phd Cover Letter Cover Letter Application Phd Position Cover Letter Phd Application Biology Cover Letter Phd Application Computer Science Cover Letter Phd Application Molecular Biology Application Letter For Phd Pdf Phd Application Letter Of Intent Application Phd Motivation Letter Motivation Letter Phd Application Biology Application Letter Of Phd Phd Application Letter Of Motivation Application Letter Phd Position Application Letter Phd Pdf Request Letter For Phd Position Application Letter For Phd Registration Application Letter For Phd Research Phd Application Letter Of Recommendation Application Letter For Phd Studies Request Letter For Phd Supervision Request Letter For Phd Supervisor Phd Application Letter To Professor Write Application Letter Phd Application Letter Paper Size Letter Paper Size Cm Letter Paper Size Dimension Letter Paper Size Latex Letter Paper Size Mm Paper Size Of Application Letter Letter Paper Size Pixels Letter Paper Size Us Letter Paper Size Uk Letter Paper Size Weight Request Letter Ppt Application Letter Powerpoint Presentation Writing Application Letter Ppt Ppt Letter Of Application Application Letter Professor Application Letter Professor Position Request Letter Professor Application Letter College Professor Application Letter Assistant Professor Position Application Letter For Visiting Professor Cover Letter Application Professorship Application Letter Associate Professor Application Letter As Professor Application Letter For Adjunct Professor Application Cover Letter Professor Application Letter For Professor Position Application Letter For Professor Application Letter For Faculty Position Request Letter For Professor Application Letter For Faculty Application Letter For Assistant Professor Application Letter For College Professor Application Letter For Faculty Member Application Letter For Post Of Professor Application Letter Faculty Position Application Letter For Promotion To Professor Request Letter Recommendation Professor Application Letter To Professor Request Letter To Professor Request Letter To Professor For Recommendation Admission Letter To Professor Application Letter For Quality Control Application Letter For Quality Control Officer Request Letter For Quote Letter Request Price Quote Request Letter To Quote Application Letter For A Quantity Surveyor Application Letter For Quantity Surveyor Letter Of Application For Quantity Surveyor Quiz Letter Of Application Application Letter For Quality Assurance Application Letter For Quality Assurance Manager Quality Assurance Officer Application Letter Quality Assurance Letter Of Application Application Letter For Quality Assurance Position Application Letter Qut Qut Application Letter Writing Qualification Letter Mortgage Qualification Letters After Name Qualification Letter 401k Qualification Letter For Construction Pre Qualification Acceptance Letter Bank Of America Prequalification Letter Pre Qualification Letter For A Mortgage Business Qualification Letter Bank Qualification Letter Bid Qualification Letter Brocade Qualification Letter Qualification Cover Letter Pre Qualification Cover Letter Qualification Updation Covering Letter My Qualification Cover Letter Conditional Qualification Letter Contractor Qualification Letter Company Qualification Letter Dodmerb Qualification Letter Dutch Qualification Letter Pre Qualification Letter Expiration Qualification And Experience Letter Nzqa Qualification Evaluation Letter Educational Qualification Letter Pre Qualification Letter Real Estate Qualification Letter For Employment Qualification Letter For 401k Pre Qualification Letter For Mortgage Pre Qualification Letter From Wells Fargo Pre Qualification Letter For Home Loan Irs Qualification Letter Interim Qualification Letter Pre Qualification Loan Letter Loan Qualification Letter Pre Qualification Letter From Lender Pre Qualification Letter Mortgage Manufacturer Qualification Letter Naca Qualification Letter Nysdoh Qualification Letter Non-qualification Letter Mortgage Pre Qualification Letter Online Get Pre Qualification Letter Online Letter Of Qualification Letter Of Qualification Virginia Letter Of Qualification 401k Letter Of Qualification Va Qualification Proof Letter Pre Qualification Letter Pre Qualification Letter Online Professional Qualification Letter Chase Prequalification Letter Pre Qualification Letter Pre Approval Pre Qualification Letter For A Loan Pre-qualification Request Letter Pre Qualification Submission Letter Superior Qualification Letter Supplier Qualification Letter Subcontractor Qualification Letter Conditional Qualification Letter Texas Tax Qualification Letter Tender Qualification Letter Teacher Qualification Letter Qualification Upgradation Letter Qualification Verification Letter Site Qualification Visit Letter Va Qualification Letter Vendor Qualification Letter Pre Qualification Letter Wells Fargo Welder Qualification Letter Application Letter Fast Learner Letter Of Application Addressing Qualifications Letter Of Application Describing Qualifications Letter Of Application With Qualifications Application Letter Rn Heals Application Letter Nurses Rn Heals Application Letter In Rn Heals Application Letter For Nurses In Rn Heals Application Letter For Rn Heals Nurses Application Letter Of Rn Heals Application Letter Receptionist Hotel Application Letter As Receptionist Application Letter For Employment As A Receptionist Application Letter For A Medical Receptionist Application Letter To Be A Receptionist Application Cover Letter Receptionist Application Letter For Doctors Receptionist Application Letter For Dental Receptionist Application Letter For Receptionist Letter Applying For Receptionist Application Cover Letter For Receptionist Position Application Letter For Secretary Receptionist Application Letter Language School Receptionist Application Letter Medical Receptionist Application Letter Of Receptionist Application Letter For Front Office Receptionist Application Letter For The Post Of Receptionist Medical Receptionist Letter Of Application School Receptionist Letter Of Application Application Letter For Receptionist Post Application Letter Medical Receptionist Position Application Letter For School Receptionist Application Letter To Receptionist Written Application Letter Receptionist Request Resume Letter Application Cover Letter Resume Application Letter Curriculum Vitae Request Letter For Resume Bursary Application Letter Resume Cover Application Letter Resume Application Cover Letter Resume Order Application Cover Letter For Resume Head Girl Application Letter Resume Nurse Application Letter Resume Application Resume Cover Letter Order Application Letter With Resume Request Letter With Resume Application Cover Letter Resume In What Order Application Letter Reference Application Letter Reference Number Apply Reference Letter Request Letter For Reference From Professor Application Letter With A Reference Application Letter With Reference To Advertisement Apartment Application Reference Letter Application For Reference Letter From A Bank Application Letter By Reference Application Letter For Bank Reference College Application Reference Letter Request Reference Letter Employer Application Letter For Reference Request Letter For Reference Request Reference Letter From Professor Request Reference Letter From Employer Request Reference Letter From Bank Application Letter In Reference Immigration Application Reference Letter Jet Application Reference Letter Application Letter For Reference Letter Mba Application Reference Letter Reference Letter Master Application Application Letter Of Reference Request Letter Of Reference Request Letter Of Reference From Employer Request Letter Of Reference Professor College Application Letter Of Reference Rental Application Letter Of Reference Request Reference Letter Professor Reference Letter Phd Application Rental Application Reference Letter Request Reference Letter To Professor Request Reference Letter University Reference Letter University Application Reference Letter University Application Employer Request Reference Letter Via Email Visa Application Reference Letter Application Letter With Reference Application Letter Driver Position Application Letter Higher Position Application Letter Housekeeping Position Application Letter Receptionist Position Application Letter Research Position Application Letter Retail Position Application Letter Vacant Position Application Letter For A College Application Letter For A College Student Application Letter For A College Place Application Letter For A College Professor Application Letter For Changing College Application Letters For College Instructors Application Letter For College Pdf Application Letter For College President Application Letter For College Teaching Position Application Letter For Teaching College Application Letter For Nurses As Clinical Instructor Application Letter For Nurse Assistant Application Letter For Nurse Applicant Application Letter For Auxiliary Nurse Application Letter For Nursing Bursary Application Letter For Clinical Nurse Application Letter Contract Nurse Application Letter For Dialysis Nurse Application Letter For Nurse Educator Application Letter For Enrolled Nurse Application Letter For Emergency Nurse Application Letter For Flight Nurse Application Letter For Fresh Nurses Application Letter For Graduate Nurses Application Letter For Hemodialysis Nurse

Being Mog

by Mothership on May 10, 2012

Next week Seven will turn eight and three short weeks after that Four will turn five.

Who sanctioned that?

I’m completely overwhelmed by the sheer physical size of the children these days. Seven is almost too big for me to lift, especially when she decides to become obstinate and throw an eerily teenage temper tantrum, complete with slamming doors and flinging herself, wailing, onto her bed in a fit of self-serving despair. Four has completely lost his babyish chub, except about his darling face, but the body is all wiry toughness. He’s bouncy as a spring and as cheerful as an otter unless you are foolish enough to allow the merest whisper that life, in any form, might not be constant and permanent. He is rendered completely inconsolable by the thought that, say,  dinosaurs are extinct or Jesus died on the cross (his sister is unable to prevent herself from telling and retelling this story in great, gory detail, carefully omitting any mention of the risen again part), and is undone even when he, himself, deliberately stamps on a spider and it becomes incontrovertibly late.

Recently, parenting has become a system of putting out fires and damage limitation.

Four is still very much a little child and I am dreading losing my preschooler to Kindergarten next September. He still says his ‘R’s as “W’s which terribly endearing, and is uncritical and attached to me, thinking me virtually perfect. What’s not to like?

His sister, however, is more complex and mercurial, her emotions more volatile and we have been struggling this year to find a way to help her communicate her feelings without acting them out in a destructive and negatively spiralling way. She is inclined to see a glass half-empty, but on the foolish occasion I suggested this might be the case, she cried

“But the glass doesn’t even have ANYTHING in it EVER so how could it even be HALF EMPTY? Hrruhh!”

and stomped off,  leaving Husband and me slightly at a loss. Four intervened helpfully.

“I love you, Mummy! Can I watch funny animals on the iPhone?”

My boy is resourceful, if not subtle.

Once Seven has entered the slough of despond, attempts to retrieve her are a minefield of rebuffs and false starts. She becomes attached to her misery, tending her nightshade garden of sorrows with lachrymose dedication and regards any offer of an alternate perspective as a vicious trespass and further proof of being profoundly misunderstood.

She sat in the dark and thought dark thoughts.

It’s not that I don’t sympathise. I really do. I quite often feel like that and may or may not have a slightly-exhausting-for-others tendency to see things in black and white. It’s true that I will absolutely hold them (by them, I really mean Husband) responsible for forgetting to give me my supper , but like Mog, I’m also not an entirely reliable witness, though I generally don’t let the truth interfere with my self-pity.

But when Seven is practicing this on me, non-stop, all afternoon, several days per week,  mostly I feel like smacking her. (Which, of course, I don’t.)

The thing is, given that I understand the inner dialogue,  I can usually just about get her back to normal after a bit of effort, and then, BAM, she does something nasty to her brother, or says something rude to me or her dad and I find she’s used up all my ‘nice’ for the day and I end up shouting at her and she runs off again. If/When that happens, I can’t deal with it any more and either ignore her or send Husband. This either goes well or it doesn’t. At least Four wins – he sneaks off with my phone, resigns all my games of Words with Friends and plays Jumpy Horse for a hundred hours while I poke angrily at my computer wishing I was in 1996.

Sigh. So much for being a wonderful mother.

In my recent chats with the career coach, it emerged that, really, I am completely unsuited to domesticity, and not necessarily very good at being with other people for long stretches of time. I do best on my own. I like being solitary. I hate schedules and routine and regularity and I dislike conventions and conventionality. It is an absolute conundrum how I ended up married to someone who is relatively normal, having children and going to Costco every fortnight. On the other hand, I can’t imagine life without them, and I sometimes wonder who I talked to, or how I managed not to be horribly lonely before..  Maybe I was.

Hey! Maybe that’s why I used to smoke spliff all day! *Light bulb moment!* Of course it could also be that I was a musician and there was nobody there to tell me not to. Seemed like a larrf, eh?

If I had had more consistent parenting myself, would I be a better mother or a worse one? Would I be a more relaxed parent because I wouldn’t overthink every experience my children were having, determined it should be better than my own, or would I be more focused and manage things better because I would not be panting so hard, running in circles trying to close the gaps in my understanding and innate knowledge of how to help someone else grow up. I’m still not really there myself. I don’t mean that in a self-serving “Oh, I’m just a big kid at heart” kind of way. I mean it in a “I see some worrying holes in my ability to respond like an adult to situations where I would be served better by a more mature attitude” way. There’s a big difference. If I get upset and feel slighted, I tend to sit in the garden and think dark thoughts..

Perhaps being Mog is hereditary. Poor Seven.

 

{ 1 comment }

1 Rainbow Prams May 14, 2012 at 5:46 am

It’s hard, my boys can often act out, it seems the more my voice is raised the louder they get. Almost a competition to out do each other. It’s gotten to the point where I do my best not to bite back, deep breathes and plenty of tea on tap! It’s a phase! Please be a phase! xx

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: