Ooh, Betty, a Whoopsie

by Mothership on January 7, 2013

I thought I was being quite clever, subtly reducing the amount of litter in the ‘red’ pan before switching to ‘amber’ which has a hole in the center (if you’re totally baffled by this statement, start here), but it turned out not to be quite as brilliant as I thought.  Or maybe it was a clever move but Tabasco got the wrong end of the stick – or the wrong side of the toilet seat because I came into ‘his’ bathroom this morning to find some fragrant brown lumps on the floor just beside the loo. Clearly he had perched on the seat but put his bum in the opposite-to-ideal direction.


Fortunately the floor is tiled and it wasn’t a horrendous mess to clear up – actually less messy than the scatter of litter everywhere and I’m hoping that this is a one-off mistake that can be corrected in time. At least he knows where to sit, right?

I read some literature about cat elimination (wait, that doesn’t sound right, – I mean the way cats eliminate, not feline assassination) and apparently when they’re weeing they can move around but once they settle in for a poo they sort of freeze in position and one is advised to go and physically reposition them so that they know the right place to dump the droppings. It also said one might have to wait around a bit – stalk the cat until he feels the urge to take a crap – so that this correction can be achieved.

Are they fucking kidding? 

I’m supposed to hover by the bathroom door hoping the time is right so I can pounce on him and fiddle about with the back legs of an animal that is in the actual live process of shitting?


Oh sorry, did I put you off your lunch?



1 MsCaroline January 7, 2013 at 5:02 pm

I am following this avidly, and I’m not really laughing at you – more of a ‘with’ you thing – having had a similar experience with a pig. Back in the 90s, MrL and I acquired a then-trendy-as-a-housepet Vietnamese Pot-bellied pig . We’d been told they were quite intelligent and could be easily trained to use a litterbox. We got the thing all set up, planted one of the pig’s previous deposits in it (to give him the idea, you see) and – just as everyone promised – he trotted right over and put his front hooves into the box. That was as far as he got, though. Once the front hooves were in the box, he’d proceed to poo on the floor. Every time. And if we tried to move him, he’d squeal and run to hide behind something. At least the cat doesn’t squeal.
Good luck – I can’t wait for the next installment.

2 Adam Share January 9, 2013 at 6:34 am

This made me chuckle, I will be back for sure. Happy New Year.

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