Anything for the Weekend, Sir?

Friday was crap.

I planned to have a peaceful time alone in bed (office) with the cat and the computer, many cups of tea and the three packets of Girl Scout cookies that were delivered last night, which nobody else in the family knew about. Instead, a man came to cut down a dead tree with a chainsaw, Husband came home and insisted we go out to lunch to ‘talk about things’ and I had to go back to see the hairdresser to explain to her how much I hated my hair so that she would agree to change it and not charge me even more money.

This took up almost the entire day, caused considerable stress, a number of tears and the net result is that I am no longer speaking to Husband, will have to pay more money to have worse hair and I had to share the cookies with the children.

It’s not fair.

Now it is the weekend and any chance of solitude, let alone with the cat or the computer, is a laughable fantasy unless I stay up until 100 o’clock which will result in dry-socketed misery and minute-by-minute calculations of how long it is until the offspring go to bed again so I can ostensibly rest but in fact will stay up too late again and the whole cycle begins afresh.

Oh, and next week we’re going on a ski holiday which is about the stupidest thing I’ve ever agreed to do. I think it was my inner masochist that gaily went along with the idea of a house swap in Colorado. The real me was trying desperately to shout “No! No! I hate cold, snow, heights, puffy jackets, and any type of sport that requires equipment, instruction or has been associated with yogurt. I’m not going”

But the masochist had locked me in the trunk with the Gimp so the rest of the family didn’t hear me and they went ahead and booked the flights.

Saturday;

Best to draw a veil…

Suffice to say apart from dance class, only reliable bright spot in life, it was fairly grim including the cleaning out of both cars which was so disgusting I cannot bring myself to write it down. I care for my readership too much to alienate you with a description.

I do give a shout out to Mrs. Trefusis who, on this day, offered a glimpse of hair salvation in form of hairdresser referral. Might require trip to London but quite frankly would consider intergalactic travel at this stage to correct terrible mishap.

Sunday:

I have been left at home alone for a couple of hours, ostensibly so I can ready the house for our upcoming house swap, but I am actually using the time far more sensibly by looking desolately in the mirror at my ruined hair and drinking many cups of tea.

We have agreed to exchange houses with another family with children of a similar age who live in a ski resort town in Colorado for a week. They are anxious for some SoCal beach time and we (apparently) are very keen to go and ski and have some snow time so this is going to be wonderful for all concerned. It’s a good idea in theory – both parties get free accommodation and in our case free use of their car (with child car seats!), there are toys, cots and child-proofing at either end, a whole house to enjoy which is great because you really need a kitchen with little kids, in fact it would all be marvelous if I actually wanted to go.

But I don’t.  I’m just going along to be a good sport (anyone sense oncoming failure?)

Four is beside herself with excitement. Some weeks ago I bought her a little hat and some gloves which she has never had before (no need around here) and when I go up to check on her at night I have found her fast asleep wearing them and often nothing else – quite hilarious. Husband was raised in the Alps so he’s very keen to get on the mountain and yodel or whatever. I am going to skulk inside drinking hot chocolate and getting fat.

Poor Bagpurrito has to go to Cat House Hotel (yes, it’s actually called that – like a bordello for felines) for a week so will have terrible abandonment issues when we return and will have to be taken to kitty shrink for analysis.  I also have to pack for the entire family which is completely beyond me. I have absolutely no idea of what to take. I did borrow some ski stuff for the kids but have nothing warm for myself. Maybe if I only take flip-flops they won’t make me go outside?

One comforting thing about the trip, though is that they do have wireless internet so I will be able to report back from the field on a daily basis.

We leave on Tuesday.

I’ll give a packing update tomorrow  – I expect you’re waiting with baited breath for that scintillating list-like post!

If you have any advice to impart, please leave it here

(Nb. It does not have to relate to ski trips, I’m up for anything.)

 

 

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