I seem to have lost the knack of writing anything entertaining or funny or poignant.
So today I will merely offer you a glimpse into my life with a confession of a shameful annual failing.
Today I bought the sixth bag of small chocolate eggs for the children in two days.
I ate the other five.
I also ate three Lindt chocolate bunnies which I have had to replace and I managed to down a fair number of jelly beans which I don’t even like, but once I started on the sugar rush I couldn’t stop.
I also know, after many years of what I’ve come to think of as ‘Easter Affliction’ that it’s pointless to try and limit myself until Monday morning when the shame and remorse will finally catch up with me (as well as a giant migraine) at which point I will be forced to eat only lettuce and water for a week. It’s particularly galling as I had been feeling rather smug of late, having lost quite a bit of weight after my last feeding frenzy at Christmas and I have been prancing around in tiny jeans, waggling my pert bottom and lack of muffin top at Husband. Not because I am skinny and merciless and he fell off the diet wagon about 10 minutes after he got on it, of course not, no *cough* . I’ve been doing my wifely duty of trying to drive him wild with nuptial desire, innit? (please lower eyebrows, refrain from snorting). I’m now slightly concerned my choco-craze is going to arrest my crowing fun. At least I’m not setting a bad example for the children because I’m eating it in secret, pretending I’m going to put loads of laundry on and then scoffing it in the utility room while they’re happily playing elsewhere.
This doesn’t sound good, does it? It reminds me of my erstwhile spliffhead musician days. Husband never felt terribly comfortable with the amount of doobie that I managed to hoover up over the course of a day – he said that it made me ’emotionally unavailable’ (um, yeah! That’s the POINT!). I hated to upset him, but on the other hand, I also needed my mental space to have a think through whatever creative project I was working on so I used to “go up into the attic to sort through some boxes” then sit there happily skinning up and blowing smoke out the cracks in the roof.
Utterly adolescent. You’d never have believed I was thirty years old.. Well, perhaps I didn’t quite believe I was thirty years old either.
And I’m still sneaking SWEETIES in the laundry room.
Happy Easter
{ 3 comments }
I thought you had ‘lost the knack of writing anything entertaining or funny or poignant’? Doesn’t look that way to me… x
I have eaten more Easter eggs meant for other people than you. So there! Plus, not the merest hint of guilt has set in yet, nor will it when my 3 sons receive a shed load of eggs over the weekend (and I devour the lion’s share). Instead, I shall quietly weep when I attend the wedding of a couple I’ve yet to meet in a few weeks’ time. I wanted to look my best, but I will look like a 10lb turkey in a 2lb bag.
I bought six Cadbury’s Creme Eggs for our egg hunt knowing full well that neither my children or husband like them. “Luckily”, I love them…..
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