Innocence

I have many of my most interesting conversations with Seven in the car.

The other day, after she had spent an afternoon with a rather precocious friend, she asked me if I would ever let her watch a film that was rated PG-13.

I said I absolutely would, once she was, say, thirteen.

But would I, she persisted, let her see one, maybe when she was really big, but not quite thirteen. Perhaps when she was nine or ten?

I thought about this for a bit.

“If it’s PG-13 for violence, then no. If it’s for scary bits, we’ll see how brave you are by then but judging by today I’d say probably not. If it’s for rude words, I’d probably say okay if you promised not to repeat them, and if it’s for, um, smoochy stuff, I’d have to think about it”

“Smoochy stuff!” said Seven. “That’s no big deal! It’s just kissing! I already know about that. I  kiss you, you kiss me, I kiss Four and Daddy, that’s smooching, isn’t it?”

“Um, no, not exactly, Darling” I say, wondering how to put this delicately. “It’s more like grownup married kissing, Mummies and Daddies and all that”

I hoped that would end the conversation.

It didn’t

“But that’s still just a stupid kiss so that will be okay, then?”

I think carefully.

“Well, maybe PG-13 is a bit more than just a kiss. It might involve bottom squeezing or something like that .”

Seven falls about laughing at this ridiculous notion

“So ya stand there kissing and squeezing your own butt? That’s really FUNNY!!!”

(that IS really funny, and might also have been sexier than some of the toads who’ve squeezed my bottom, but I digress)

“Um, no darling, generally they squeeze each other’s bottoms.”

More hilarity ensues.

“Squeeze somebody else’s butt! That’s just CRAAAZZZY!”

 

Long may this innocence last.